There’s a difference between yearning and chasing feelings. The former is about dreaming while the latter is actionable. Boys yearn, men chase feelings.

Yearning #

The concept of yearning is about dreaming and longing for something that is unobtainable. To make it clear, there’s nothing wrong with this. It’s a good thing to do once in a while. It only becomes an issue when all you do is yearn. It’s a trap similar to quicksand.

All these thoughts can accumulate and bounce around in a yearner’s head. It can come to a point where their head gets full, in which the pressure creates an explosion. At first, it might feel good to do this but you’re only setting up a routine of rumination than achievement.

The most common yearn is to have a lover. Yearners use their own imagination of what that might look like whether it be based off looks, hobbies, achievements, future, and/or personality. A unique perspective is created where there’s a possibility that this specific person exist, but at the same time will never exist? Why? It’s a yearn.

When people yearn, they project that this “something” exists but at the same time isn’t meant for them. It’s only supposed to be a dream, therefore I yearn. Some experienced yearners, but those that haven’t seen the light, yearn small. It’s kinda weird, but sure man.

There’s some form of self-deprecation in yearning, because why wouldn’t you want this dream or a bigger dream to come true? Maybe all yearning is just self-doubt? Maybe it’s the fear of the unknown? Who knows?

Once you understand how the trap works, you won’t give into the yearn as often. The experts and seniors with 5+ YoE yearn quite well and achieve a by doing it. It’s not yearning that they do, it’s a secret third thing. They chase feelings.

Chasing Feelings #

Denying yearning and opting out of it is a hard thing to do. The act of actually doing the thing afterwards is even harder. There’s a lot of hurdles one must go through to do things that they always wanted to. Again, it’s easier said than done. I believe the spark is curiosity and the catalyst to be love.

Yearning and chasing feelings are fundamentally the same. They both want something and the outcome of both will be the same. If you yearn, the future is still uncertain due to in-action. As a spoiler, If you chase the feeling, you’ll find an answer, not the answer, and the future will even be more uncertain. The initial answer won’t ever exist and that’s the addicting part.

This realization brings in a new worldview, a reality that is uncertain. A world where everything you do and don’t do, is impactful and nullifying. Essentially, you can create your own reality because imagination is faulty and the real world is malleable. So who or what do you choose to believe in? Yourself.

Secretly, the act of chasing feelings is the self-proclamation of loving yourself. It’s the will to experience and figure out something so uncertain and scary. In other words, you’re believing in yourself that you will survive no matter what the exploration brings. It’s also a primordial clash between your imagination and reality itself, where their matter start to morph into one another. Once it’s done, you’ll see where you actually stand in the world.